


Become Starlight

by hellotweetygirl



Category: SHINee
Genre: Blue Night Radio, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drunkenness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Goodbyes, Light Angst, M/M, choi tenderheart at work, crying!jjong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-16 14:54:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10573581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellotweetygirl/pseuds/hellotweetygirl
Summary: Minho is there to comfort Jonghyun when he has to say goodbye to something precious to him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So this is my first Jongho! I was eager to write this after the terribly emotional goodbye that Jonghyun said to his beloved Blue Night this week. It was so hard to watch him cry- but I think we all cheered when Choi Tenderheart came to the rescue! I went to nap thinking of a post I’d fired off (on tumblr) about wishing 'MInho had taken Jonghyun home and given him lots of cuddles' and woke up with this fic in my head :) Getting to post this on Jonghyun’s birthday is also a treat! Please enjoy!

_“My tears become starlight, and shine brightly over there,_

_Maybe you’ll see from somewhere, so every night I become the starlight and shine.”_

_-“Wish Upon a Star”_

~~

Minho dragged Jonghyun to his front door and propped him against the door jamb with a sigh. They were both drunk. Minho however, had drunk socially and casually at the after party having nothing to prove to anyone there and having simply wanted to enjoy himself on Jonghyun’s big night. Somehow he had managed to stay pleasantly tipsy, and despite the number of shots that Jonghyun had pushed his way, stuck to his limit. 

Jonghyun however did not.

Minho didn’t know how someone who had sworn off drinking could get themselves so thoroughly smashed in such a short time. Perhaps it was the late hour, or perhaps it was the wake of the emotional high after leaving the radio studio. Maybe it was the fact that the drinks disappeared at a faster rate than the food in front of Jonghyun. Whatever it was, when the full-on weeping began and Jonghyun had, for the third time that evening, made for the microphone to begin a passionate ballad on the karaoke machine Minho knew it was time to spare his hyung the next day embarrassment and make a speedy exit from the celebration venue.

Now, managing to drag him home, Minho had to figure out what to do with him.

Gently, he smacked Jonghyun’s cheek and got him to open his eyes.

“Hyung, you gotta open the door okay? Just put your code in and we can get you inside.”

Jonghyun’s eyes slowly focused in and recognition dawned on him of who was speaking to him. He smiled brilliantly and Minho couldn’t help but smile back shaking his head fondly at the other boy. Minho thanked the stars that Jonghyun was an adorable drunk and not a disorderly one. Sluggishly, Jonghyun rolled to the other side of the door and mashed down a sequence of numbers before the soft beep of success was heard.

Minho grabbed him around the waist from behind with one arm and shoved open the door with the other. He pushed Jonghyun into the foyer and helped him to toe off his wingtips before Minho wrapped his arm around him again and frog-marched him down the hallway and into the main living area. 

In retrospect, Minho should have expected that there would be a ‘part two’ of the goodbye celebrations waiting for Jonghyun at home. Banners and flowers decorated the space and made for a festive welcome. A welcome gone wholly unappreciated by the sleepy drunk in his arms.

Seeing Mrs. Kim’s look of concern as she rose from the settee was enough to make him wish he’d poured Jjong into a cab a lot earlier that night…well, morning.

The petite woman hurried over to him and reached out for her son, ready to do her best to care for him. Minho put a finger to his lips and gently steered him out of her grasp.

“It’s okay Mrs. Kim, I’ll get him upstairs and take care of him.”

“No, no, no,” she fussed, “You don’t need to Minho-yah, I can take care of him well enough.”

Minho argued softly with the woman for a minute, sleepy drunk or no there was no way he was letting Jonghyun’s mother bear the burden of worry and care for her son in this state. She would just have to allow him his way. Turning on his megawatt smile he insistently pushed past her and moved Jonghyun to the head of the stairs. When Minho heard the tisking and longsuffering muttering behind him he knew it was accompanied by a smile and proceeded without guilt. 

“Come on hyung, up we go.” Minho’s hand slid into place at the small of Jonghyun’s waist, gently propelling him forward and together they made the short climb to the second floor and Jonghyun’s room. Pushing through the familiar door he was hit by the powerful scent of burning wood and deep exotic fragrances. He inhaled deeply and found calm washing over him and swirling around him. It was so peaceful to be in Jonghyun’s room. He loved the old leather furniture and the warm blankets. He loved the slick polished floors and the modern artwork. It all blended together into a style that was uniquely Jonghyun’s. For as depressing as the blackness on the walls and windows had the potential to be, Minho always found that being in Jonghyun’s room felt like a securely knit cocoon and it gave him security and peace to be here.

Minho rolled Jonghyun onto the bed and left him there, butt perched on the edge of the bed, feet on the floor, body crumpled over in an untidy heap. Rummaging around on the headboard he came up with a packet of matches and struck one up and began lighting the candles that lined the wide wooden top. The matches burned quickly and he found himself shaking out the flames as they licked at his fingertips, striking again, and repeating the lighting process until around the bed was bathed in a soft glow.

Minho shut the door behind him blocking out the harsh light of the hallway and effectively pulling the cocoon fully closed.

Minho turned and leaned against the door appraising and admiring the man slumped over on his side at the edge of the bed. Jonghyun had been so handsome tonight in his navy suit. Minho had been watching the radio broadcast on his phone from the beginning sitting in the downstairs lobby while he waited to come on the air. Jonghyun was so pleased with himself and how sharp he looked, the fans all admired him and cooed and giggled their approval- and they weren’t wrong. He looked amazing and obviously felt good and Minho had been pleased to see it.

Now the suit was a little the worse for wear and so was the man in it.

Minho was pretty sure that drool was escaping the other man’s open mouth and he knew for sure that his cheeks were encrusted in the salty brine of a flood of tears. He stepped over to Jonghyun and sat him up, briefly caressing his cheek.

“Come on Jjong, we gotta get you out of all this and make you comfy.”

The words awakened the older boy a bit and he again focused in on Minho with a growing smile.

“That’s good. Good. I like comfy.” Jonghyun’s hazy smile as he spoke to Minho could hardly be called a real smile resembling more of a Muppet’s thin dopey purse of the lips. Jonghyun raised his hand to Minho who was stooped in front of him and ran his hands down Minho’s sweatshirt protected chest. “I like comfy things, did you know that before?” Jonghyun’s question was so childlike in tone that he almost booped Jjong on the nose. Almost. But he held himself back. No need to open himself to the potential of teasing…or otherwise…the next day.

Minho’s fingers moved deftly over the large buttons of Jonghuyn’s jacket and popped them open as the other boy continued to babble away. Minho grasped the ends of Jonghyun’s sleeves and tugged upward as he stood giving the older boy the appearance of being a puppet in the hands of his puppeteer. Eventually, Jonghyun’s arms slid from the sleeves and flopped to his sides on the bed. Jonghyun giggled.

“Plop, plop!”

Minho shook his head and pushed Jonghyun flat on his back. With a soft bounce, he hit the mattress and wiggled into the comfort of the puffy duvet. Minho leaned a knee into the edge of the mattress and leaned over Jonghyun unlooping his belt, tugging and clanking the buckle as he went, and popping the button that gleamed like a silver coin underneath.

“I’m seriously glad,” he groused, “That this is the last time I am going to have to drag your drunk self home Jonghyun. You are the most unhelpful drunk.”

With a swift tug around the hips, Jonghyun’s slacks hit his knees and began the journey downward. Minho smacked the bare thigh.

“Kick them off.”

Jonghyun obeyed and the blue serge dropped to the floor in a puddle.

Pants removed Minho sat the pliant boy up again and continued removing Jonghyun’s smartly checkered tie. The fabric was warm from having been held closely to Jonghyun’s body and it warmed more against his hand as he yanked it from beneath the collar. One by one he loosened the tiny buttons at Jonghyun’s neck and down his chest until Minho deemed he had enough room to breathe freely.

Minho got up and disappeared through an adjacent door and a light flickered on. Water ran briefly and Minho reappeared again before a minute had passed. The washcloth in his hands was wrung out but not to the point of being bone dry. It retained much of the scalding heat of the tap water in its fluffy luxurious threads and Jonghyun moaned as Minho cupped one cheek with his hand and ran the cloth alongside the other. The cloth ran along the back of his neck and ventured along the top of his shoulder before coming down and running into the deep dip of his clavicles and across the spot he was so proud of in the center of his chest.

As Minho switched hands and worked his way across the other half of Jonghyun’s exposed body he roused and began to take deep breaths filling his lungs with fresh air and slowly expelling it in long sighs.

“That feels nice.”

“I thought you’d appreciate that,” Minho said with a grin, “You can thank me in the morning.”

Minho moved to his hands and ran the fading warmth over the backs and palms of Jonghyun’s right hand before moving to the left. As he worked at the smudge marks he rolled the clenched fist over and tapped it, signaling for the other to open up but the fist only clenched tighter. Minho looked up a question on his features.

“Hyung, what do you have? Open up.”

Jonghyun signaled the negative with the shake of his head and refused to listen. This left Minho with the only thing he could do- pry the object out of his hand. With difficulty, the fingers peeled back one by one revealing crinkled loops of navy ribbon around a small tan reed.

Jonghyun looked down at it forlornly and tears began to form in his eyes.

“I’m leaving them. I’m leaving them Minho.”

Before Minho could process what was happening he had his arms full of a crying Jonghyun as he flopped face first into Minho’s shoulder.

Minho sighed. Maybe he should have let Mrs. Kim take care of Jonghyun.

“Hey now, hey,” he crooned, rising with Jonghyun and awkwardly tossing the cloth onto the side table, “Don’t cry Jjong. Shhhhh. Don’t cry.” Minho pulled back the covers on the bed with one awkward hand as the other steadied the now weeping boy in his arms. “We’re going to get you into bed and let you sleep all this off okay?”

Jonghyun took a long drag of snot as he hiccupped through the tears. He buried his nose into Minho’s neck and clung to his hoodie with both hands wrapped into the jersey knit.

“I thought it was going to last forever,” he sniffled in gulps between words. “Now I’m leaving them and nothing is going to be the same! I don’t want to go Minhooo I don’t want to,” the small boy sobbed.

So this is what this was all about.

Right about now Minho wished he was still carrying around that silly box of tissues, he could use one- or forty- to dry up the fount Jonghyun had again become. He patted the others back and slowly shifted him down into the waiting bed and lifted his feet in behind him.

“We can talk about this tomorrow hyung when you’re feeling better.” Minho moved to lift the covers and tuck Jonghyun but was stopped with a fresh wail.

“You’re going to leave me too?”

Minho stopped and looked down at the boy curled on his side and thought how very small he looked. He knelt beside the bed and rested his elbows on the edge as he spoke softly to Jonghyun.

“You’re tired. You’re drunk. Don’t you think that you’ll feel better later after you’ve slept off all the alcohol? Then I’ll take all the time you want to talk about this.” He stroked the flop of bangs of out of his eyes and tried to sweep it to the side.

“No. I’m not going to feel better later,” he insisted stubbornly, “I want you to stay with me now. Please,” he pleaded in the barest whisper. For such a large personality in public, Jonghyun could, on occasion, be the smallest little smol in private. He looked incredibly insecure and weary, his tear stained cheeks drawn and his eyes red ringed from both the drink and the continuing tears. Minho couldn’t bring himself to deny him the request. 

“Okay. You win.” He tapped the elder on the nose.

Standing, he shucked off his tight jeans and puffy outer jacket leaving him in his oversized hoodie and his clothes in a pile on top of Jonghyun’s on the floor. Climbing in next to Jonghyun was not uncomfortable by any means but it had been such a long time since the two had shared the same space that Minho was tentative as he inched into the place beside his friend.

Jonghyun had other ideas.

He flopped onto the tall boy with abandon and wrapped his arms around Minho’s broad chest.

Laying on his back Minho raised his eyes to the heavens and asked for patience.

Maneuvering around the pillows and bodies he shifted the both of them to a comfortable position. Supported by a horde of pillows at his back he cradled Jonghyun in his side and drew the covers up over them.

Jonghyun, who appeared more awake now, threw a leg over him preventing him from any possible escape.

At first Minho just simply held the other boy and kept him close. His hoodie earned an ever dampening wet patch on his chest as Jonghyun’s tears soaked through but he didn’t mind as long as he was helping the other to feel safe and cared for.

Eventually, Jonghyun began to quiet his tears and opened up, speaking in low scratchy tones that he had to lean in closer to hear.

“They were so close, all the listeners, and at first, that scared me, but then it didn’t. I wanted them close. They understood me. They are people. And I am too, I am a person! And I could be _just_ a person with them. Sharing the same things, the same happiness’s, and struggles, and….” He trailed off not quite connecting his train of through to its next destination and Minho rubbed his arm reassuring him he could continue.

“They shared themselves with me Minho. At first I didn’t know what to do with that. So long I’ve tried to share myself with others but they never saw who I was really. No one understood. I didn’t want them to feel that way. I wanted them to know that they had been heard so I wrote for them. Something beautiful came out of that, I can’t even tell y-” he choked on a sob and Minho stroked his back in comforting circles.

Leave it to Jonghyun to try and be eloquent even in his tearful drunkenness.

“I want to go back. Please let me go back.” The sobs wracked his body until he could do nothing but heave in air and choke it back out again.

“You can’t do that Jjongie, you know that,” Minho comforted with steady voice and hands that moved gently up and down the stricken boy’s sides and back. His hands were steady and sure, repeating a pattern of infinite shapes. He scrunched up the cuff of his sleeve and gently wiped at Jonghyun’s tears and dripping nose. He grimaced in disgust realizing what he’d just done and sighed, resigned to being Jonghyun’s own personal human tissue. 

For the hundredth time Minho wished things were different for Jonghyun. He had been surprised to hear that Jonghyun would be giving up Blue Night knowing how the other loved it so, but also unsurprised in knowing what a burden it was to his health. Minho had grieved too as a listener of the show. He never thought that someone he knew so well already could offer him something new but Minho found himself tuning into the show not just to support his friend as he had in the beginning, but as a curious listener who hung on every word that came over the airwaves, hearing fresh thoughts and the warmth of a genuine heart.

As time had gone on Minho had seen how his friend’s insomnia battled against the great love he had for his work. It was heartbreaking to watch. He hated seeing Jonghyun hurt and had finally gone to him and pleaded for him to watch over his health and allow Minho to watch over his beloved little home in the place between today and tomorrow.

The other had refused of course, knowing Minho’s schedule was no less demanding than his own, but Minho knew that it had been seen as a gesture of love.

Now though, as his friend had done what he must so he could grow strong again and heal, he held him wishing he could have done more to stop this from hurting so much.

“You did everything you could,” he whispered. “Blue Night will be looked after until you are in the right place to take it over again. Right now is time to take care of you Jjong.”

A few quiet minutes passed where quiet reigned. The candlelight was the only thing in the room that appeared to be alive as the flames bobbed and danced and through their light as far as they could which really wasn’t terribly far in the oversized room.

“Open your eyes,” Minho commanded. He disentangled himself from the other’s arms and rolled to his back again, nudging the boy beside him to do the same. Jonghyun made a pillow of his bicep and together they peered into the near blackness of Jonghyun’s room. Minho pointed to the ceiling at the other end of the large room, beyond the reach of the soft candle glow.

“I know it’s dark right now and that you don’t see- but there is starlight out there- and it’s for you.” Minho turned his face to the other boy and whispered right in his ear. “Make your wish Jong. Make it and dare to believe it’s going to come true.” Jonghyun turned and their eyes met. He was searching through his hurt and the pain in his eyes pulled deeply at Minho’s heart.

Minho blinked the moment away and turned again to the darkness.

“You’ve given hope to so many people don’t give out on yourself now. I know now is not the day you are going to feel good about this. It’s probably going to take many days- but soon you will see not the darkness but the stars.”

Minho shuffled onto his side again and cupped Jonghyun’s cheek running his thumb across it and dragging the trace moisture there across his cheekbones. Slowly he leaned across and placed a tender kiss on Jonghyun’s forehead. 

Jonghyun considered him for a long moment.

“It’s not okay. But it might be.”

“Yeah, it will be. Trust me.”

Jonghyun leaned into him then and pressed his lips softly to Minho’s. He pulled back after a brief second and Minho watched him chew his lip.

“Thank you Minho.”

Minho pulled Jonghyun back into the circle of his arms and quickly they became tangled together, resting in each other as sleep pulled at them both.

As sleep made his mind drowsy Minho tucked away the promise he had made Jonghyun. He felt how deeply Jonghyun was relying on his words to be true and he would not let him down. Maybe he couldn’t look after Blue Night, but he could certainly do what he seemed to do best and look after Jonghyun. He would make sure that the wishes he made came true and the starlight inside him stayed burning brightly.

Someday, Jonghyun would ascend to the nighttime skies again. 

Minho couldn’t wait.


End file.
